Why I tell my daughter she's pretty.

There's been a lot of talk lately about mothers choosing not to call their daughters pretty. I can sympathize with a lot of it, even respect it, but I cannot get behind it. Many people believe that telling a girl she's pretty discourages her from embracing science and math. I don't believe that at all. My mom has always told me I'm pretty. When I was younger I wanted to be an archeologist/anthropologist, so my mom went out and bought me books and kits so I could learn all about it. To this day I am still extremely fascinated by those things. One Christmas my mother bought me a microscope, slides included, and told me to enjoy. Being pretty never stopped me from wanting to explore different things. And my mom never told me pretty girls don't do those things, instead she took the things I was interested in and built on them. I'd read about dinosaurs and then go to dance class. I'd try on my moms heels, and then go examine slides under my microscope. Some days I'd wear dresses, and some days I'd wear jeans and a t-shirt. I loved makeup at a young age, but I was also an avid swimmer and "renowned" water bug. Whatever I was into that day, week, month, my mom supported me, and still told me I was pretty.

Now I have a daughter, she's 2, and I've told her she's pretty every single day, multiple times a day, for her whole life. If you ask her "who's gorgeous?" she will respond with "me!" If she's trailing behind me in a store you can often here me say, "come on pretty!" Sometimes we're sitting on the couch and out of the blue I'll just say "you're so pretty". Why? Because the world is an ugly place, and I want her to know that even on the darkest of days, she is her own beacon of light. I want to tell her she's pretty every day so that she believes it. I want her to know that she's pretty so that when someone tells her she's not, she doesn't even bat an eye. I want her to love herself, from head to toe, all the days of her life. I want her to radiate self confidence so that when the world tries to tear her down, she's never afraid to stand up tall. I want her to look in the mirror and see nothing but beauty. I tell my daughter she's pretty because she deserves to hear it.

You know what else I tell my daughter? I tell her she's smart, that her imagination is impressive, and that her scribbles are genius. Several times a day I find myself in awe of how smart she is. I cannot believe someone so small can know so much. And if you ask her "who's smart?" she will again respond with "me!" There is no limit to the things she can do. She can be pretty and still like to play with rocks. She can love both princesses and dinosaurs. And even though right now she's not a fan of bugs, if someday that's where her heart lies, I want her to roll with it, simply because she can. If she wants to grow up and wear a lab coat to work, I hope she does, because it doesn't make her any less pretty. Nothing will ever take away the beauty that is her. And someday when her hormones are running crazy, I don't ever want her to doubt her self worth. I want to enhance every single quality she has. I want to focus on everything that is wonderful about her, and for me that includes telling her how pretty she is. When she gets older and someone at school is being a jerk, I don't ever want their words to diminish her self worth. I don't want anyone to ever dull her sparkle. If someone tells her she isn't pretty, I want it to bounce right off of her. If someone tells her "girls shouldn't do that", I want her to prove that they can. BECAUSE SHE CAN. She can be anything and anyone she wants to be, and being pretty won't stop her.

If she comes up to me someday and says, "Mommy, am I pretty?" I'm going to hug her little body and tell her of course you are darling. You are pretty smart, pretty creative, pretty wonderful, and you also have the prettiest face I ever did see. Because all of those things are true, and I refuse to omit any of the qualities that make her who she is.

Someday, my daughter is going to change this world. And you will find me standing on the sidelines, still telling her she's pretty.